News and Articles:WINTER 2011 SHORTIES

December Shorty 2011
You Shouldn’t Have!

Are you one of those people who hates compliments and deflects thank you’s? Then December must be especially hard on you because you’re bound to get at least one gift during the holiday season. Be prepared this year! If you can take the focus off of your discomfort and instead tune in to the giver’s desire to bring holiday cheer, you may be less stressed.

Here’s a simple approach. When you’re given a gift, take it and make eye contact with the giver. Smile and say with as much warmth as you can muster, “For me? Thank you. May I open it now?” (Part of the other’s joy is seeing your enjoyment of the gift.) Comment on the wrapping (it took some time and thought) and then - no matter what’s inside - simply say, “Thank you. How thoughtful” and smile again. Congratulations! You’ve just completed the cycle of giving by receiving well, which is a gift in itself. Well done!

If you continue to have difficulty receiving gifts or compliments, you might benefit from exploring the source of your low self-esteem. (Call: 215-247-6077 for the Samaritan Counseling Center nearest you.)

January Shorty 2012 Hot Under the Collar

What’s the best way to let off steam when you’re mad? Pound a pillow? Let out a primal scream? Do aggressive laps in a pool? Give someone a piece of your mind? Trick question! The answer is none of the above. Recent psychological research has shown that “venting” actually churns up anger rather than siphoning it off.

So when you’re in a hot-under-the collar moment, you need to take the screaming tea kettle off the stove and let it cool down. Here’s how: 1) Step away from the situation 2) do some deep breathing 3) let your escalated heart rate and flushed face get back to normal 4) once you’re calm, assess the situation in your own mind or with a friend 4) come up with a plan to negotiate more fairness, or decide to let go and let God if you can’t change the situation.

If your anger continues to overwhelm you and scare others, consult with someone who can teach you effective anger management skills. (Call 215-247-6077 for the Samaritan Counseling Center nearest you.)

February Shorty 2012 February 29th: Nobody’s Perfect

Don’t you love it! Somewhere back in those early-calendar-making days, folks discovered extra minutes were accruing that they didn’t know what to do with. Sure they managed to come up with 365 days a year by creating 12 lopsided months of 28 to 31 days. But those annoying minutes just kept piling up and throwing off their calculations. The perfectionists must have been going crazy (and driving everyone else crazy) so finally somebody came up with a wacky idea: “Let’s just add an extra day every 4th year and call it quits. We’ll put it at the end of February. Nobody will even notice.” In weary frustration the Calendar Committee must have finally agreed, “Oh what the hell. Let’s just do it.”

So for all of you who sweat over a checkbook that doesn’t balance, or a key that can’t be found, or picture that won’t hang straight, or a name that won’t come to you - this one’s for you! February 29th. Enjoy it, Baby. The day to celebrate Whatever.

If you’re compelled to do things perfectly or die trying, you might find relief by talking to a professional about living more freely. (Call 215-247-6077 for the Samaritan Counseling Center nearest you.)